Canon: Remove if not applicable.“I get the feeling that you are not particularly close to your brothers.”
Almost a week had already passed since his arrival at the Berlurik manor. The days were generally uneventful. Astolphe had started spending the mornings training with Gralat at the compound and the afternoon reading. The evenings after supper, the two of them were in each other’s company, but they didn’t necessarily talk that much. He liked that. It was nice to know someone that didn’t need to constantly fill every moment with words. Long, comfortable silence was something he got way too little of when he was with other children at his age back home.
Now he sat on Gralat’s bed, with the most recent book he was reading in his lap, while Gralat changed out of his frozen clothes into fresh ones. As they were children, being present when another changed was still an acceptable thing to do.
“You don’t say.” Gralat’s voice came from inside the sweater that he was pulling on. His head popped out of the high neck. He pulled down the high collar so it didn’t cover his mouth. “You may have noticed that they are a fair bit older than I am.”
Astolphe had actually not yet met the middle brother. “Yes, but,” Astolphe watched Gralat pull his hair out from under the sweater. It flowed like a river through the air. “You don’t even call them by name. You refer to them as your eldest and your older brother, every time.”
“Is referring to them by name imperative?”
A small frown made way onto Astolphe’s face. “No… But it’s normal.”
Gralat picked up a shirt that he pulled on over the sweater. Somehow, it didn’t look bulky on him. It would on Astolphe, if he didn’t wear a bigger-than-usual shirt over it. “Normal….” Gralat was quiet, while he buttoned up the shirt. “Normal in Baltrhein isn’t necessarily normal in Ellvaldez.”
“I’ve noticed.” Astolphe leaned back against his arms. “Your straightforwardness alone baffles me.”
“I suppose that we are straightforward,” Gralat agreed.
“Your pragmatism, at least when it comes to death, is unlike any other place I have heard of, too.” And then he included what he knew of the savages from Türkiye, too. Which in truth wasn’t all that much. “Or is that just you?”
“No, it’s not just me.” Finished dressing, Gralat picked up the clothes he had taken off and hung them up on a simple wooden rack in front of the fireplace.
“But you know, you can be close to your siblings even if there is an age difference. I’m close to my older brother.”
Gralat sighed. He sat down on the chest that stood by a wall. “The first son is the heir, the second is the spare, what does that make the third son?” Astolphe was silent, and Gralat was looking straight at him. “The third son is useless. Particularly here, where it’s just another mouth to feed when there isn’t that much to begin with.” He shrugged. His hands rested on the worn wood of the chest and its faded paint. “I’m superfluous, my education isn’t as important as my brothers’ are, and neither is my time. So,” He leaned back. Astolphe clenched his hands against the beds covers. “I’m going to become a member of Ellvaldez’s elite troops and I’m going to fight for a better future for those who can’t fight for themselves. As long as I’m able to do at least something for my country, then I don’t care that I’m superfluous to my family or might die a bloody death.”
Astolphe was unable to avert is gaze. Gralat’s determination was on a whole different level, after all. Astolphe doubted that the Hermann would even be called to fight, but Gralat expected to get to fight some day. He wanted it. He had nothing to lose and a reason to fight without ever giving up.
And that was, Astolphe realized, the most scary thing about Gralat.
It was what told Astolphe that, would the mountains allow him to become an adult, Gralat would be a dangerous soldier to meet on the battlefield. He wouldn’t stop until he died; even if he was on the verge of bleeding out he would still keep fighting. Until he drew his last breath, he would fight for Ellvaldez.
Drawing a deep, fortifying breath, Astolphe dared asking something he had wondered for a few days. “The Empire doesn’t matter to you, does it?”
“No, it doesn’t matter to me at all.”
Of course, he would receive such a blunt answer as expected.
“You consider Ellvaldez separate from Baltrhein, don’t you?” That was what had made him realize that the Empire didn’t really matter to Gralat. Because he didn’t include Ellvaldez when he spoke of the Empire, and he didn’t even spare a second thought for the Empire when talking about Ellvaldez. In his mind, they were completely different. The Empire was something that Ellvaldez needed to survive, but it wasn’t anything that he was loyal to.
“That’s right. I don’t.”
It was completely different from what Astolphe had been taught by his teachers. The Gol, the Balt, the Rhein, all the territories, they all were the same Baltrhein, fighting for their emperor. And fighting for the Baltrhein Empire was an honorable duty. Waiting to be called to fight for the Empire was meant to be every Hermann’s dream.
Except it wasn’t Astolphe’s dream, because it was unrealistic and it wouldn’t happen. It would be better if it didn’t, either. And a dream that wouldn’t come true was meaningless.
“Don’t tell them that.”
Gralat snorted. “I’m direct, not stupid.”
The corners of Astolphe’s mouth quirked upward. “So you say, but I still catch you get scolded by Lord Sigsteinn every day.” Gralat raised an eyebrow at him. “You sure lack faith in me, Astolphe.”
“Because I haven’t seen any evidence to the contrary.”
“And they say I’m the one without manners.”
Astolphe gave him an innocent smile, which would purposefully fool no one.